June 6th, 2006

Someday. Some sweet day.

"Different winds come from all directions. Some are clear, some carry dust, some are cold or hot, fierce gales or gentle breezes. In the same way sensations arise in the body--pleasant or unpleasant or neutral. When a meditator sees sensations as he does the winds, coming and going, clear or dust laden, fierce or gentle, he will fully understand them and be free from dependence on them. When he understands sensations perfectly, he will see beyond this conditioned world."

-Samyutta Nikaya

Someday I'll get there. Today I'm still struggling with it. Frustration. Pure frustration. I've been thinking about it all day. I know where I'm going with this, I'm just not very patient in getting there. Maybe it's not a matter of going per se. Maybe I'm trying too hard. Maybe I can accomplish what I want by not trying, but rather just focusing on what is really important. Family, love, friends, and peace of mind. Don't sweat the petty things. Don't pet the sweaty things. Sounds simple and all, but it's my desire to see other people succeed - as well as being judgemental of people that I don't percieve as open to ideas - that is keeping me from succeeding myself, thus holding me back from leading by example. Who am I to judge? When am I going to realize that stressing over others' actions may someday kill me? When will I correct myself? Something will give, but when? I must admit that I feel I've always been in the right place and the right time - most importantly with the right people around me - when things seem to just fall into place...

...but are they just falling into place, or is it just the point at which preparation meets opportunity - the point at which the most important people in your life are (not coincidentally) gathered? I have always had a voice of reason inside, and voices of reason outside. This is why I have always come out a winner, but only if I stop resisting what the voices have to say.

Yeah, I'll just go ahead and quit rambling now. Suggestions?
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